If you are shopping for a new hero… someone to admire, someone to inspire you, someone to motivate you to new heights… then look no further. Let me tell you about Barbara Stegemann.
How I hadn’t heard about this woman before now is a mystery to me, but I’m so glad I found her.
I was attending the Wonder Woman Conference sponsored by the Halifax Chamber of Commerce. This was my 3rd year attending, and based on previous experience, I was expecting great things.
One of the speakers was Barb.
Barb told us the story about her best friend who had been injured while doing work in Afghanistan to help improve the lives of women and girls. I listened with rapt attention as she told us his story, her story, and many other stories.
After all was said and done, I knew two things.
- I was going to recommend Barb as a keynote speaker for another conference I attend with the PEO Leadership group in Toronto. (I’m an Executive Advisor for PEO)
- I was going to immediately buy her book.
After I finished reading her book, I knew two things.
- I was going to buy more copies of this book to give as gifts to important people in my life (spoiler alert if I’ve got your name for our family Secret Santa draw)
- I was going to add this book to my Recommended Reading list for women. (click here to get the new list)
To say that I was inspired by this book is an understatement.
The 7 Virtues of a Philosopher Queen is an INCREDIBLE book that I recommend every woman, young, old, or in-between, read.
Some key takeaways from this book for me (and there were so many I’d need to write ten blogs) were:
Philosophy is cool
- I wish I’d taken philosophy in school. Because of this book, I immediately bought a hard copy of The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius and a Kindle version of A Vindication of the Rights of Woman by Mary Wollstonecraft. Plato Complete Works is on order.
Speak the language
- There are so many ways that we as women can live, and thrive, in a man’s world. But if we’re going to enter the arena, we have to know what game we’re playing and what the rules are. One of the rules is the language on the field. Men and women communicate differently, and we need to figure out how to hear and be heard. Learn the language of sports, government, competition. Understand and be understood. Notice and be noticed.
Wonder is wonderful
- I love that wonder is the first virtue. I love it even more when things about me that I’ve seen as weaknesses are validated as strengths. For those of you familiar with Patrick Lencioni’s 6 Working Genius model (I use this extensively in my work with clients) one of my geniuses is Wonder. Being able to sit and ponder and notice and question is a gift that I wasn’t sure had a purpose. Barb shed new light on this for me.
Two hands
- A real wow moment for me was when I read that we have two hands so we can use one to help ourselves and one to help others. Isn’t it so true that as women we often self-sacrifice ourselves for the sake of helping others. We’ll step up to the plate and give our time, gifts, and energies in service of others, but then feel uber-guilty when we take time for ourselves. We have two hands… and they are of equal size. We need to be willing to do as much for ourselves as for others. We cannot give from an empty cup.
In the Dragon’s Den
- Barb was the first person from Atlantic Canada to get a deal on Dragon’s Den. I loved reading how she was so nervous when they started the countdown that she wanted to turn and run. But she faced her fear and did it anyway. I also love that she talked about how much preparation she did before going on the show. The reason I love this story so much is that it reminds me of the time that I too, auditioned for Dragon’s Den. In the massive lobby of the CBC building in Toronto in January 2013 I made my pitch along with many others, to the Producers. I was pitching a book tour for my new book that had just been published (The Ruby Report; How Organizations Can Profit By Promoting Women Leaders). I didn’t make it past the Producers but the prep work in getting ready to be grilled by Kevin O’Leary was worth its weight in gold.
You are your child’s first teacher
- I smiled and cried at this one. Smiled, because it is so true. Cried because I have so many regrets. Parenthood is one of those things that gives you the test before it teaches you the lesson. As the mother of 4 sons, there are sooooo many things I would do differently if I could go back. But I’d only go back if I could also take with me the wisdom I have today. Going back to repeat the same mistakes wouldn’t do anyone any good. Too soon old, too late smart.
We need more women in the arena
- We desperately need more women in politics. I posted about this on LinkedIn when the World Economic Forum put out the 2025 Global Gender Gap Report came out and I had a comment from a man saying politics is a dirty game/career. We could make such a difference in the world if we had more women in politics. Barb’s book has a whole chapter and more tidbits about women in politics and how to make it happen. I’d like to send him a copy of Barb’s book.
Love your broken bits
- Recently someone made a comment about a friend not wanting others to know about their struggles in life because they were worried others may think less of them. To that person I would say, just like Barb does, to love your broken bits. We all have them. They help to define who we can become, but they don’t define who we are. Many women, myself included, want to hide away the difficult stuff from our life. We instead should be embracing those troubles as things we have conquered. I think so much of women who have overcome great obstacles… we are each other’s heroes.
P.S. I love Barb’s perfume. I used to wear perfume and then stopped because of “scent bans” at work. Back to feeling great about smelling great!